anyway, it is yucky and we didnt get to go to six flags today. sigh. we WILL go though. at some point. me and chrystal and chris still had fun adventures regardless. we always do. i love them both. they are great. i love that i can talk to chrystal so easily. i really do. i appreciate it more than almost anything. she is helping me out a great deal. i realize more and more how much i missed her being a part of my life for those few months.. sigh.. i also appreciate chris. its strange how comfortable i feel around him seeing as i havent really known him that long. way to go chrystal :) i also had some quality bonding time with kerry yesterday. we had a hair dying party. or, well, she did.. i just watched. her hair is amazing right now. i will scan pictures when they are developed. yay.

i am having problems. i really dont think i can ever ever be happy. if its not one thing, its another. chrystal and chris were telling me its not my fault and that i shouldnt feel bad because im doing nothing wrong, and its not my problem to deal with.. but that doesnt make it any better at all..it doesnt make me not feel bad.. it doesnt make me not feel like im doing the wrong thing and like im being inconsiderate and evil. why do things always have to be so difficult.. dan said i should talk about it.. so did kerry.. chrystal says no cuz it wont matter.. i agree with her. it wont change. it never does. sigh. i know im not making sense but oh well.

i think that i dont want to write anything else right now cuz im not making sense and i want to go to bed i think i need a good nights sleep.. wow that should have been like 5 different sentences but they all seemed to blend together. oh well. 

love michelle

.. now im kissing a memory ..

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