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ive been updating a lot lately.. kinda.. yay.. go me. ive just been bored i guess.. i dont know. i saw chrystal last night. we went to borders and got some really good iced mocha/mint drink.. soooooooo good. yeah and we just talked. i love chrystal so much. i really do. i am so beyond glad that we are friends again because she really is so important to me. i told her this last night. i dont know what it is about her but she really helps me a lot. she really is the only person in my life that i actually find myself really opening up to and feel like i can really talk to. like... we just talk a lot.. which is so strange for me cuz as we all know (like anyone reads this..), im usuaully really bad about that. but she doesnt make me feel dumb for thinking the ways that i do... she listens and i feel like she actually understands. and for that i am so lucky to have her there for me. and. yes. i am lame but i just wanted to say that. yeah. and we are hanging out again tonight. with kerry and chris this time. ive never hung out with chris but he seems like a good kid and im happy that he makes chrystal so happy, so i want to get to know him since hes so important to her. yes. we are gonna go out to eat and then go bowling probably.. chrystal and kerry are being good friends and trying to distract me from thinking unhappy thoughts today... i need the help. i am trying so hard to deal with everything, but everything just seems to get worse. so much worse. i guess i expect to much from people.. me and chrystal have had this conversation multiple times, but i really think i do. i guess i just need to accept the fact that people are never going to be how i want them to be, or how i think they should be, and i really need to take my own feelings into consideration because apparently no one else will. too bad thats probably never going to be true though. oh well... this is starting to depress me so i think im going to go.. i need to go get my magazine cover and call kerry and stuff anyway so yeah, im done. peace.
love michelle
ps - we slept outside last night and were awoken by drunks.