i am not a very interesting person.. so i do not know why you are here.. but since you are, perhaps i will let you know a little about who i am..

everywhere we go.. (everywhere we go..) people always ask us.. (people always ask us..) who we are.. (who we are..) and where do we come from.. (and where do we come from..)

im not weird.. or maybe i am.. whatever... that was a little camp song thingy that my cousin used to sing and i just got it stuck in my head.. so shoot me in the foot.. whatever.

so hello... my name is michelle.. i am 21 years old.. my birthday is april 18 1980.. i know that you care.. i have NOT black hair and uh.. blueish grey (i guess) eyes.. im like 5' 9" or so.. i hate being tall.. sigh. i am very white. my mom keeps telling me to go to the doctor to see why im so white. my family is so weird. however, i *did* get my friend pulled over on the side of the highway by a state trooper cuz im so white he thought i was dead, so maybe she has a point..

anyway.. what else can i tell you.. i work at stop and shop in framingham.. it is hell. i want some one to bomb it. with certain people in managerial positions inside. i mean..

i like music... mostly "pop punk" type stuff.. because i am a wuss i guess.. wait.. just kidding.. im tuff.. anyway GET THE NEW SAVES THE DAY ALBUM.. it is super duper and i havent stopped listening to it.. some other bands i also enjoy are lanemeyer.. newfoundglory.. alkalinetrio.. theataris.. piebald.. thegetupkids.. fastbreak.. dashboardconfessional.. reggieandthefulleffect.. superglue.. hotrodcircuit.. jetstobrazil.. weezer.. tuesday.. nsync.. shadyviewterrace.. junction18.. theimpossibles.. midtown.. themovielife.. i will stop.. i used to enjoy going to shows, and, well, i still do.. just nowhere near as much.. it is kind of sad, but i guess that is just my apathetic nature.

yes, i am very apathetic. and pretty pessimistic as well.. is that possible? sure. but you would probably gather this on your own if you read anything i have to say here.. and i complain a lot. about anything and everything. yeah.. i pretty much suck.. and maybe i wont write about that stuff cuz i do that enough as it is. 

yeah, so i have a couple of friends.. who i love to death.. my friends are really important to me, but i feel as though i take them for granted and dont show how much i really do love them. i really do appreciate them all, and i hope that they realize how much they all mean to me.. even if i dont seem happy with them at the moment, i still do love them all somewhere.. i am a tough person to be friends with.. i think maybe im hard to get close to because i keep a lot of things to myself.. im trying to stop that, but its still there.. and i think that makes my friendships hard. but my friends are great and put up with it regardless. i really hope that the friends i have now are in my life forever because they are the best. 

i am afraid of lots of things, but i think the thing i fear the most would definitly be the future.  not knowing what is going to happen just frightens me.. change is another thing that scares me to death.. i guess that means that i am not a very adventurous person, but it seriously terrifies me. and thinking about what is going to happen just doesnt seem real to me - graduating from college.. getting a real job.. growing up.. getting old.. all that crap... it isnt real to me.. it doesnt seem to actually exist in my world. is that weird? i just have a hard time with looking at things in that way.. i dont think i make sense. 

i am bad at trusting people... i have such a poor outlook on people.. its really rather sad, but ive been let down way too many times to think otherwise. i dont know if i actually trust anyone.. sure, i have a certain amount of trust in my friends, but i honestly dont fully trust anyone. i think many people are like this though. which is really crappy when you think about it. 

i am very anti smoking.. it disgusts me.. and confuses me a lot. i wish that cigarettes would go to hell.. and i wish that everyone i loved who smokes would stop because it makes me sad.. if only it were that easy... sigh.. 

oh yeah.. so ill tell you some things i like .. i love my friends and family.. the color blue is my best friend, but ive gotten way better.. i am in love with anything sparkely.. it makes me so happy.. i like writing in little font. i like music. i like going to playgrounds, especially at night.. i love the night.. its so pretty.. going on walks on a nice night is the best.. especially when you are with the lilac bandit :) .. i love when people seem like they actually care and understand what youre saying.. i love staying up talking to friends all night.. i love having free days.. i love driving when its beautiful outside. rode trips are such a good time.. dunkin donuts adventures are always a good thing.. cookies and ice cream make me happy. i like black hair. and sparkley blue nail polish. and writing on my hand. and picture fun. i love hearing a song and having it relate so closely to what you are feeling, you know you arent alone. i like to water down my juice. im not weird. i love when it rains and you are outside and people start hiding because they are afraid of the rain, when in reality, its just water and wont harm them at all.. i love rain.. except when its really cold out.. i love the smell of clean laundry.. and herbal essences.. i heart coca cola.. i am addicted to caffeine.. i love when you are with someone, and they make you feel so good about yourself and you think that you are actually happy... when you can just laugh, and have a really good time.. when people can make you forget why you are sad. sometimes i really like people.. 

i hate a lot more things than i like, but ill keep this list limited.. i hate most people... they are just so dumb. i hate snow. i hate being really cold. i hate being really hot. i hate sweating.. i hate being confused, and i always am. i hate a lot of things about me, but i wish to not discuss that right now.. i hate getting lost.. i hate being lied to.. i hate feeling alone... i hate that i pee so much.. i hate when people sing the wrong words to songs.. i hate a lot of movies.. i wish i was more creative.. i hate feeling helpless.. i hate that theres so much i dont know.. i hate customers.. i hate boys. they are the devil. i hate girls too.. i wish i was asexual. i hate when people dont use their blinkers. or when they cut you off and then drive reeeeaalllly slow.. i hate feet. they are gross. i hate complaining.. i wish i wouldnt do it so much.. so i guess i should cut this out.. 

yeah.. thats all i am going to write right now.. oh yeah.. i forgot, i love getting mail... hint hint..